because i miss what i had in the past. i hate night like these where you get caught up in your mind thinking back to everything. things you wish you could say and all the things you wanted to do while you still had the chance but as i look back i realize i had good reasons to make the choices i have because i felt they were the best. the moment i let go of and the people. the things you stop yourself from doing or saying. whether it be out of respect or just common sense or even insitinct. but at times like this i go over it in my head over and over and wish i had changed some thing just slightly. like maybe say an extra sentance or do something for someone or do something with them that would probably chance the outcome. at least i could imagine anyways.